Two friends take a giant leap from friendship to seek courage and hope in others. Educating migrant women to break from the cycle of abuse.
In the second of our migrant stories, we talk to two friends, Mannie Kaur Verma and Sheeba Singh, who cemented their friendship in service of other (South Asian) migrant women with the birth of Veera Brave Girl, a non-profit organisation, empowering women to escape abuse.
Every generation of women feels obligated to feel it came easy for their predecessor. Reality can just fog the past. The roots of migration are layered and complex. ‘Now’ has exactly the lingering effect of ‘then’. Veera Brave Girl is about two girls knowing that gap and not looking away. It's as simple as that.
Sheeba, with her background in government and community safety, saw that there are young girls falling through the cracks. “I always say the story of Veera is a story of friendship and hope and courage.”
Co-founder and director Mannie, recently recognised as one of Australasian Lawyers’ Rising Stars 2023, had a similar perspective through her advocacy work and personal experiences.
I met the girls at an International Women’s Day seminar, talking to young students of all genders from universities. There are so many things that I didn’t know, especially that fifty-five women lost their lives due to domestic violence in 2022.
Sheeba explains that many women coming from Southeast Asian communities often have a lower skill set, almost no English proficiency, almost no financial background support.
When they come here, they’re often students jumping from one course to another just to try to keep their visa alive. Suddenly they end up working in food trucks and cleaning jobs. They become the invisible minority just because of their socio-economic background.
Sheeba found that these girls are sometimes assaulted as part of their work or abused domestically.
One of the cases that really shook Sheeba involved someone she knew. She worked several jobs, and during one of her jobs in a restaurant she got assaulted by one of the employees. “The hook was … if you report it, then I can report you and get you deported as well.” So, these girls will do everything not to get deported and not go to the police.
When Sheeba asked her to report to the police, also extending support in coming with her, instead the girl said that this is usual.
Sheeba was gobsmacked. We talk about women empowerment and here was a girl whose voice was so completely taken away. “Oh, I'll go to work, and you know, I'll do my job and by the way, I might get assaulted and that's completely fine. I'm like … it doesn't happen. It is not usual.”
Though both the Indian and Australian governments are stepping in, there’s not enough time in the day for them to do what these girls are set to doing. With full-time jobs and being mothers, their world is filled with that endearing care.
So, when they cross paths with the survivors it’s difficult to fathom what these girls have been through. Parents sell their houses either for their dowry or for them to settle abroad – and there’s no turning back, as there is no home to go back to.
But the founders of Veera Brave Girl believe if they support one person, it’s enough – one less traumatised person in this world. The charity came into being in February 2022, and since then they have been able to actively support victims and run workshops.
They are committed to empowerment via education, and they brought medical and legal professionals together to create a booklet. Now the booklet is available for the ladies, but they also run workshops to take them through the contents.
It's divided into two parts. One is healthy relationships. What is consent? What does a healthy relationship look like? Other topics include contraception. Australians might take these things for granted, but because of a closed cultural environment, these girls may not fully understand these concepts, which can seriously impact their lives.
The second component is the law. How do intervention orders work? In case of assault, how would one report it? How do divorce laws and child custody work?
The other gap they found is that these girls have very low self-confidence: ‘I'm not a resident if I don't know English,’ as if their world is smaller.
But Mannie and Sheeba have dedicated a whole program to that as well. Some of these girls go through cycles of abuse and it can take so long for the truth to be told. And both the friends hugely believe that the South Asian community must come together to acknowledge there is a problem.
They look at the intersection of migration and domestic violence; many of these girls are victims because of their vulnerable status as migrants. Employers have them on hooks and they’re isolated in a foreign country on visas – their families are back home and don't really know what they're going through.
The only person they know is her husband, who then becomes a perpetrator. So where do they go?
When something's happened and the victim seeks help, Veera Brave Girl creates a safe space for them for three months. That gives them time to get back on their feet. Think, plan, calm down and then start living life again.
Now is the time to rise and be brave, such as in the bravery of this friendship, peeling the layers of misinformation and misguided truth.
Patriarchy mixing with migration is a transitional transaction to human tragedy – when will this labyrinth be free of such inhumanity?
These girls are our future, and we need many Veera Brave Girls to shake the core of migration.
By Nandita Chakraborty